What Xmas Should Look Like

What Christmas should look like:

Santa.... is a sexy looking silver fox type of guy, probably not older than 50.  

He's not fat.  

I'm sitting on his lap (obviously, this is Xmas after all and some traditions cannot be ignored).  

He hands me an envelope filled with cash, and says "Merry Xmas.  Here is for your rent, bills, etc."

Thanks Santa!!

What Christmas actually looked like:

Woke up alone in my bed.

Played guitar for an hour.

Went to my moms house for a great brunch with her and her friend.

Played guitar in the living room, while they did crafts in the kitchen.

Friend comes over and we head to the outdoor/refrigerated rink to skate.

We play hockey with 6 guys and hold our own just fine.

We go to Groveland Tap to get a beer.  They are closed.  

We proceed to Billy's on Grand.  They don't open till 5.
We awkwardly wait in the car for 15 minutes, till 5:05.  We don't want to seem desperate. 

We sit and talk about education, curriculum/instruction, and race for 2 hours while drinking Stone IPA.

We go back to my moms house and eat leftovers (from friend's Xmas with her family the night before).

We watch 3 quarters of the packer game, occasionally screaming, clapping or cheering.  

Friend heads home.
I head home too.

I spend several (4+) hours playing guitar and working on photos until 3:15am.

Xmas Morning

Xmas Brunch

Xmas Day

What a rad Xmas!!  Xmas Eve was good too...spent it with a few friends and family.  I had been stressed about it, not because of presents or anything, just because it's a hard time of year and I've got some shit going on that is hard to understand, let alone deal with.  <-- Which as I write that... I realize that I don't need to understand why things happen... I just need to deal with them.  

Anyhow, Christmas this year was great.  I'm lucky to have good friends and good family.  Even when I'm feeling sad... I still know that I am blessed with good people in my life.  That and I am blessed with skinny ankles.  Just sayin.  

Happy holidays everyone.  Stay safe, sane, mindful, and loving!  

I may or may not be Scared of Heights

But as things would happen, I busted up my shoulder pretty good a few weeks ago, which is why I couldn't rock climb this weekend at my (new) friend's birthday extravaganza.  I didn't mention my fear of heights to the group, but it's there, believe me.

A few car loads, totaling about a dozen people made way to Duluth this past weekend to climb shovel point.  I took photos, and didn't partake in the climbing.  At night, we played music around a bonfire until our fingers hurt and our voices went hoarse.  It was rad. 

See below for a few photos from the weekend.  It was so nice to get out of the city for a few days, to be in nature, and experience the vastness of Lake Superior.  I can't wait to go back! 

In Light

Eric

Lunch

Details

First Time Climber (she rocked!!)

The Shoes of a Photographer

Preparations

I can't remember who took this photo, but I love it!

Hanging Around.  Photo by Erika.

Mission Accomplished.  Photo by Kat.

All Smiles

The Whole Group!

The most amazing weekend....

I won't go into details about why this weekend was amazing.  I'm too tired.  

I will tell you how it feels, however.  It feels great. 

Most of the weekend was spent with women.  Friday night was with a majority of folks I had never met.  It was great.  I got "into it" with my family the previous weekend about how I don't "do small talk", and I can ask intimidating questions and what not.  I agree in part, that I'm more observant than chatty, but for some reason I had a great time telling jokes, listening to stories, and being around new people.

Saturday I hung out with a dear friend who gave me a book that hits the heart.  We hit up a garage sale and talked about life and the different choices we are faced with each day.  I spent Saturday afternoon on a boat.  It was great to be with positive people, in the sun, on the water.  I even caught a fish!

Saturday night I had organized a group of people to take night photos.  Me...the organizer was running late, so it only ended up being a few of us.  What was supposed to be night photography in downtown saint paul ended up with me wearing carharts, no shirt, and a mohair scarf covering select parts of my chest, forehead covered in eye shadow with a couple of friends.  What started as a trip to my house to get an external flash turned into a photo shoot with two amazing women.  The energy was beautiful!!  (photos coming....soonish).

Today I went to the farmers market and then to the farmers market brunch my friend hosts.  It was lovely to see folks.  The energy this weekend was amazing!!  It's hard to explain how good I feel-- it has certainly been a while!  

I feel so blessed to have so many rad people in my life, but at this moment, so honored for the women in my life.  Being a woman is hard.  Being a human is hard.  Finding rad, inspiring, friendly, goofy, intelligent women to spend time with is so rejuvenating. 

I've got softball in a couple hours, which I'm excited for.  I've been goofy and smiling most of the weekend.  What a good feeling!  I'm sure I'm super dehydrated, and I know I'm sleep deprived.  I ought to try to live with a little more balance, but this weekend was go big or go home.  I went big (and eventually home).  It was amazing.  I am entering this next week feeling good, goofy, strong, and ready to go!  Let's hope it lasts... I made sure to write about it while in the thick of it... so I can come back and remember it when it passes.  

Life can be really good...if you're open to it.

Untitled

Andy and I went camping a few days ago-- it was awesome.  Photos will be posted by the end of the weekend (ideally)...or actually right now.  My favorite part of the trip was Monday morning at 5am.  I told Andy I wanted to be awake to watch/photograph the sun rising.  He said it was okay if I woke him up, so I did as passively as possible... by opening and closing the zippers on my tent.  Surely he would hear that and get up on his own.  After zipping and unzipping and getting dressed and ho-humming along, I said "Andy, are you awake" in this really sweet voice.  "I am," he said.  A few minutes later, we were down on the dock to watch the sun.  

Having slept only about 5 hours the night before, we were both pretty tired.  I got some good photos, and then fell asleep in my chair.  It was perfect.  We sat/laid out on the dock for a couple of hours before packing up and heading home.  It was quiet, and beautiful.  Before we left, I told Andy I needed to go say goodbye to the lake.  I shuffled down the home made stairs built into the ground by the cabin, and I stopped at the "beach."  I looked to the left where my gramma's walking path was.  I had a picture of that path from several years ago, with the sun shining through the trees-- I always felt like my gramma was the sun in that picture.  On Sunday I had tried to recreate that photo to no avail.  When I looked at the path from the beach on Monday morning, the sun was shining like it had years ago.  A perfect photo opportunity, I thought to myself.  But like I had said the day before-- I don't need to recreate the past.  I need to just enjoy the present for what it is.

I walked to the end of the dock and looked out at the lake.  It was beautiful, as it always is.  The sun was high in the sky by then, and so I looked directly at it and took a deep breath in.  The wind was blowing, not too hard, providing a comforting breeze.  "Thank you," I said as I looked back across the lake.  "I miss you guys," I said to the sky, feeling the energy and love of my grandparents.  "And I love you."  I don't know that I believe in prayer or god very strongly, but I put my hands in prayer position and slightly bowed forward.  "Thank you," I said again.

I turned back towards the cabin and walked up to the car.  "Okay, I'm ready to go," I told Andy.  And I was.  

The west bay of Mantrap Lake

Where we spent most of our awake hours

Saturday night dinner-- prepared by Andy

Sunday night dinner-- prepared by Andy

Monday morning sunrise

My morning soundtrack....and weekend plans

Woke up, took a shower, and this song was in my head....

Which I thought was funny....because I feel much more like this....

 

Sad day.  So what else could be on my soundtrack for today? 

 

Better...I guess.

I am going up north tomorrow morning.  To my grandparents cabin, actually!!  I'm really excited.  I haven't been up there for years!  Andy Wilbourn and I are going...which is great to go camping with someone who knows what they're doing in the woods.  (Yes...we are camping at the cabin...that way we don't mess anything up).  We had hoped to camp at a state park, but low and behold, the Minnesota State Government has shut down.

Regardless, I'm excited to fish off the dock, go explore the woods, check out the other lake my family owns (I remember going there only one time, so there's lots of learning to do).  I'm pumped to walk the trail that my gramma loved to walk.  

I was talking to a coworker yesterday, and said that if there was any one place I felt the most close to my grandparents, I think it would be the cabin.  

We leave Saturday morning, and return Monday early afternoon so I can get to my moms 4th of July Party (which for her is more important than xmas, not because she's super patriotic, but because it's when our family used to always get together-- when my grandparents were alive-- and go to Saint Anthony Park for the parade and BBQ).  It's an important day for my mom, and I'm glad to be a part of it.

Our summer program at work starts on Tuesday, which means we've been working hard to get everything ready.  I'm excited to get going on things!  I'm hoping it will be a good summer...it's been a (personal) challenge so far (I was sick for a month)... so anything really is better.

Things I need this summer: cool friends to hang out with (especially ones who like to run, meditate, practice yoga, and don't spend a lot of time/money/energy around booze).  Oh, I also like to BBQ so I want to find more folks who are into that too.  And people to go to coffee shops with, and sit around at a park and read books or watch my pathetic attempts at drawing.  Oh yes, and photographers.  I know my new friend Tom has been wanting to do a night shoot...I need to take him up on it!  Oh yes...and I want a fishing buddy.  Duh.

I realize I can do all of this stuff on my own...but life sure seems more fun with it's enjoyed with other people.  I've done a poor job of reaching out to friends so far this summer (except in the last week), and it's something I want to do more of-- not reach out because shit hits the fan, but reach out because there are people in this world who I love (and I think love me) that we could grow together as friends and do positive things in, with, and for our community...or something like that.

Happy holiday weekend y'all.  Be safe!

Celebration of Winter and Sun

This year, the 6th annual Celebration of Winter got snowed out. The good news however, is that daylight savings time starts this Sunday, so we're gonna celebrate big. More sunlight means warmer weather is just around the corner, and things like Seasonal Affective Disorder should be giving us a rest for a few months. It's time to get out and play!

Who: You, me, and our friends/family/community

What: A Celebration of Winter and Sun (including a food drive)

Where: Costellos Bar & Grill

When: Sunday March 13, 2011 from 6-11:30pm.  (Happy hour specials all night)

Why: To celebrate each other and give back to our community.

Hope to see you Sunday.  See this post for a food/donation list given to me by the Hallie Q Brown Food Shelf.  Questions?  Holler at ashashoffner@gmail.com or call me.

6th Annual Celebration of Winter

The time has come for the 6th annual "Celebration of Winter." Please join me this Sunday, February 20th (anytime between 6-11pm) at Costellos Bar for an evening of food, drinks, and mild debauchery. Family, friends, kids, lovers, neighbors, and anyone with a good energy is invited.

Each year, I like to give a lil back to the community. Last year, we gathered 96 pounds of food to donate to a food shelf in frogtown. This year, I am gathering donations for the Hallie Q Brown food shelf in Saint Paul. Below, you will see a list of their needs. Please feel free to bring one or more of these items. If you are unable to donate, no worries, all are welcome regardless. (If you are able to donate, you will recieve modest discounts on drinks for the night).

Hallie Q Brown Food Shelf Needs

Fruits and Vegetables:

 Jack fruit, mandarin oranges and mango

 Peaches, pineapple, applesauce and pears

 Canned juices

 Whole kernel corn and green beans

 Straw mushrooms and baby corn

 Canned tomatoes

 Green chilies (canned and dry) and jalapenos

 Dates, raisins and dried fruit

Protein:

 Peanut butter, peanuts and cashews

 Dry black-eyed and cow peas

 Dry pinto, red, black, soy and mung beans

 Green, brown, and red lentils

 Canned tuna, chicken, pork or beef

 Beef stew and chili

Pastes, spices and sauces:

 Spaghetti sauce

 Curry paste (yellow, red or hot)

 Beef and chicken paste

 Minced or chopped garlic

 Fish, oyster, chili and soy sauce

 Salsa, green sauce (tomatillo) and molé

 Cardamom, cinnamon, cloves, cumin, curry,

ginger and red pepper

Noodles:

 Spaghetti and angel hair pasta

 Bean thread and rice sticks

 Mac and cheese

 Ramen and Mama noodles

Basics:

 Cooking oil, olive oil, Crisco

 Flour, maseca (corn flour) and sugar

 Salt and pepper

 Coffee and tea

 Tortillas and taco shells

 Jiffy mix and yellow cake mix

Breakfast:

 Hot and cold cereal

 Pancake mix and syrup

Baby Items:

 Similac

Rice:

 Basmati

 Long grained

 Sweet

 Jasmine

 Kokuho

Non- Food:

 Toilet paper

 Shampoo and conditioner

 Laundry, bath and dish soap

 Diapers

 Feminine products

 Toothpaste, toothbrush

Food Blog

 
Lately I've been thinking about the things I write on this blog.  Some are good.  Some are bad.  I just write, I don't have much of a filter.  Part of being a grown up is having a filter.  It's something I need to work on.  Speech is free, yes-- but I've got to be smarter about it.  Maybe.

I was thinking the other day, that I need to "tone it down" a bit on my blog, which sucks, because I think a lot of what I put out there needs to be said.  And if I can't say it on my blog, where can I?  That's one side of the argument.  The other side is that I need to be smart about what I write.  My mom tells me (often) that I shouldn't be writing half of the stuff I write on here.  I communicate through writing... it clears my head, mends my heart, makes shit meaningful and puts it context.  I suppose that is what a journal is for though.

Yesterday I thought to myself, maybe I should change ashamarie.com to a food and music blog.  Food and music can be non-political.  Well...music can be really political, but it won't get me in trouble like some of my writing will.  And food, well, access to food is political, and food itself is political...but taking pictures of food, I could do that.  

Here's the problem though.... I don't eat enough to do a food blog.  I was telling a friend about this idea, and she said "Yeah, you could post clementine and mixed nuts for lunch, granola bar and a beer for dinner, etc."  Okay, so maybe it's not that bad...but my friend thought it would be hilarious to have a food blog that wasn't extravagant like so many others are.  Makes sense to me...but we'll see.  

I went to a benefit last night for Ann Marsden at the Dakota.  If you aren't familiar with Ann's work, check her out.  She has an amazing eye, guided by a loving heart.  Anyhow...I didn't order any food, but took pictures of the food my friends ordered.  That's one way to do a food blog I suppose.  I could also start cooking more.  That might be a smarter option.  We'll see.

B's food.  Cell phone photo.

J & J's food.  Cell phone photo.

An offering.  Cell phone photo.

Q's food.  Cell phone photo.

I probably don't need to write "cell phone photo" after each picture I post.  I do that because the quality is so much poorer than with my regular camera.  But...if I start doing more food related entries, chances are I will be documenting with my cell phone quite a bit.  

Regardless, cheers to good friends and good food!

One pink sweater at a time....

A couple weeks ago, I mentioned in a blog that I needed some business casual clothes... I didn't think anything would come of it. I couldn't have been more wrong.

Last summer, in one of the most random moments of my life, I ran (part of) 193 miles with 12 people I had never met before. I don't think I wrote about it, which is a shame, because it was an experience like no other. Regardless, I made some new friends at this race. One of them, Alicia read my blog about needing clothes. She said she could help me out...and did she ever!!

I am sitting on my couch right now, wearing one of about a dozen cashmere sweaters she outfitted me with. In my closet are now 5 more pairs of heels that I started with (bringing the grand total to 6). I went to the western suburbs to check out "some sweaters" that Alicia had set aside for me...and holy smokes! To say it was overwhelming wouldn't be accurate... but it was something pretty close.

"Some of this might be too 'girly' for you", she said. I told her I'm trying to embrace my feminine side, so this will be good. As I sorted through a bed full of clothes, I unintentionally pushed the pinks and pastel colors aside. I didn't realize it until taking a step back. Alicia gave me 5 pairs of heels too, one of which I tried to do some house cleaning in yesterday. I didn't last long in heels (about 30 seconds), so I'm going to need some more practice before stepping out in the real world.

I am blessed. Really. So blessed. I've got a few women in my life right now, that are helping me become more aware of how I carry myself, how I present myself, how I work with what I've got. It's been amazing, and I am learning so much. I'm so thankful.

When I was little, I would run around in basketball shorts and tee-shirts. I still do, occasionally.... which I think is fine (occasionally). Frankly, I can rock both looks... I can do jeans with my grampa's button up and a jacket. Or I can work a dress (it's the walking in heels that kills me). And as I am experiencing more sides of life, I am learning that it's good to be able to go back and forth between the two. I'm also learning how important "presentation" is.

Argh... this blog isn't going where I want it to go. I've got a lot on my mind right now, and didn't sleep well.... so this is more "jumbled" than I'd hoped. I played guitar last night for a couple hours...it was good. I need to play more often (piano too). It's a good outlet for me, as is running, which I haven't been doing enough of lately. I need to pick a race, I think that's the problem. I have no upcoming races, it's 30 degrees and icy outside, and my motivation is low. When I run, I feel good about myself. When I dress nice, I feel good about myself. When I feel good about myself, I am productive, loving, and happy.

I'm going to embrace these feelings one pink sweater at a time...

Get Outta Town!!

2 posts in one day? Get outta town. I'm on a roll....deal with it.

A couple weeks ago (halloween weekend), I went camping with Andy and Chris Wilbourn. Here are the pictures. Also, in following up to my post a week or two ago... I didn't end up going to see Ardes. It was our first snow of the season, and people tend to lose their ability to drive during the first snow, so I stayed close to home. I'll get out to see her in the next month or two. She's awesome, and I was bummed to not be able to see her last weekend.

Anyhow....here are the photos. You can see the photos took here.

looking for firewood.

love.

andy.

andy getting the fire going.

pork.

beans.

pork and beans.

chris got fancy with his pork and beans.

andy during a serious moment.

andy.

chris.

my favorite photo of chris from the weekend.

jay cooke state park.

jay cooke.

chris and andy.

Recent Photos of Friends

I visited my friend Ardes a couple of weeks ago. We had a slumber party, and the following morning she went out to test out her tractors. Here are a few pictures. As you can see, she is awesome.

Also, here are some recent photos of/for my friend Jim. He is in a band, you should check them out. If you're in a band, and need photos, hit me up.

As you may have noticed, today is monday. I have class in a couple of hours, and tons of reading to do. That is why I am posting a blog entry today.

Antique Shop (Evidence)

Chris and I rode bikes the other day, it was great. I took a couple of pictures of Antique Shops, and there will likely be more in the future. I love riding my bike in Saint Paul, especially when it's at a leisurely pace. More of that soon too, I hope.

this place doesn't need a bunch of crap out front to let you know it's open for business.

this place does.

this one too.

chris and andy, talking about machetes and cameras.

The Human Race

No, not the real human race.... but a running race (on Summit Ave) called the Human Race. It took place last Sunday (03.28.2010), and since I haven't taken many pictures lately, I decided I would hit it up. Here are some of my favorite photos from the event.

I would like to note, that I am really lucky to have some FAST friends. I went mostly to take pictures of them, and it was a bit chilly (as a spectator), so as soon as I got the photos I needed, I headed home.

Ariella, my scrabble buddy. 3rd woman finisher!

Erin, my high school XC coach. 5th place woman.


jamie, who is gonna get me a job at run n fun. 8th place woman.

bekah, one of the infamous yetzer runners! 24th woman.

angie. doctor/runner. 25th woman.


ed rousseau. not my friend, yet. will be soon, i hope. 70 years old. 8K time: 39:54. Pace: 8:01 per mile.


more photos will be posted on photography by asha later today.