Baby it's cold outside!!

Okay so here's the deal-- I woke up this morning and it was negative 15 degrees outside.  Negative 10?  And don't get me started with the windchill.  I don't know exact numbers, I tried to block them out of my mind.  Either way...it was ass cold (yes, that is a meteorological term). 

Anyhow, this evening after work, I went home and checked my mailbox (it's a weekly chore).  In there was a sierra trading post catalog...so I started looking online (at sierratradingpost.com, because apparently a catalog won't cut it) and here's what I found.

I want to buy it, and cut 4 holes in it.  2 for my arms and 2 for my legs.  I'd wear it everywhere.

Baby it's cold outside....just sayin!

Audience Survey

Actually, this isn't an audience survey.... it's a sign up sheet.  Well, it's not that either. It's my curiosity getting the best of me. 

When I sign into my blog, there's a button for "stats" which tells me that on any given day, X number of people read my blog.  It tells me what page they clicked on, what kind of computer they used, and that's about it.  It doesn't tell me who actually reads it... and I'm curious. 

So...do me a favor, if you're reading this... leave a comment.  It could be as simple as your name.  Thanks.

This is not a music blog

1. A few days ago, I discussed turning ashamarie.com into a food or music blog.  

2. I tried the food thing and failed miserably.  

3.  Lately, it's been more music. 

4. I don't want to turn it into a music blog however, because I have more to say that someone else's music.

5. A few weeks ago, a friend turned me on to "Florence and the Machine."

6.  Holy shit.  Awesome.  Watch this.  

6a.  Totally not my kind of woman, but this video is totally hot.  

7.  I'm planning on writing up a lil review about the Lauryn Hill concert I went to last night.  

7a. It was bangin.

7b. I should probably write about it soon.

8. Life is good.  And frustrating.  And sometimes sad.  But in the long run... I think it's worth it.

A (Very) Close Second

Behind my birth parents, Stevie Wonder is next in line for people I want to meet.

At this moment

It's 10:18pm.

I have to move my car for snow emergency at 8:00am and be to work by 8:15am.

Usually I go to sleep between midnight and 1:30am.

Tonight I am shooting for earlier.

If I could choose one song for this very moment, this is what it would be.

xoxo.  asha.

Fate

I believe that things happen for a reason.  Here's an example.  This morning, I decided my food blog sucks.  A couple hours later, I got an e-mail from Andy saying he is going to start up his blog again.  Hooray!!  

If you are sick of looking at my photos of cereal and ice cream, head over to Andy's page!!  

You can also see his brother (Chris/Felix) here. 

My food blog sucks

I think I'm going to go back to my regular gig here...writing about what's on my mind, not what's in my belly.  

Here though is a picture of breakfast.  I'm going to the gym in a few hours, and need the energy.  It's a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on brownberry bread, a shot glass full of blueberries, a glass of soy milk, and a jar of water.  A quick note about milk: I rarely just drink a glass of (soy) milk, or any milk for that matter.  Not sure why I did this morning...I guess my body needed the extra protein.  Oh, and I've been on a blueberry kick the last couple of days.  Talk about a superfood!!

Breakfast

I have a 10k road race coming up in 13 days.  I've almost entirely fallen off the running wagon... so here I am, trying to get back into it.  I ran 4 miles yesterday (on the treadmill at the gym) and felt fine.  I'd like to run a sub 8 pace for this race...which might be a lofty goal considering I've been running once a week for the past several weeks... We'll see how it goes.  It's been hard to run this winter.  I mean sure, I live half a block from the gym, and yes my sister did buy me some yaktrax for my shoes if I choose to run outside... but.... well, there are no buts.  I've just been slackin.  

There's no point in getting down about it though.  I think I would have in the past...but now it's not worth it.  It simply is what it is.  Today is always a good day to start anew.  It's funny, I put this quote up yesterday on facebook.  "Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it.  Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it."- Carol Lloyd.  I think there's a lot of truth to that.  We (people in general) often have ideas of what we want to do, who we want to be... but we get lazy or scared or busy and don't take the time to even begin.  What happened yesterday doesn't matter.  It's what happens today that leads to tomorrow, and I want tomorrow to be better than today.

Not your average foodie

I appreciate good food.  Really, I do.  I appreciate sauteed vegetables over brown rice or cous cous, a hot curried soup, a medium rare piece of steak, a fillet of grilled salmon, etc... 

The problem is...I don't cook very often.  I've got the equipment (to cook/bake), I just don't have the food, and I don't make the time.  I'm working on it though, as you can see...

The refrigerator of a foodie...

The shopping list of a foodie...

The groceries of a foodie...

Clearly, I'm not your average foodie. But I am going to push myself to cook a bit more and really beef up this blog.  Yes...pun intended.  Stay tuned. 

With the kids

6:30am: alarm went off

6:35am: rolled out of bed

6:35-6:36am: used profanity

6:55am: posted a stevie wonder song on facebook

7:05am: arrived at family friends house to help get the kids off to school

7:20am: fed the kids

7:30am: ate 2 small bowls of cereal and some string cheese

7:30-8am: watched some show on the disney channel (with the kids)

Happy Wednesday.

bowl #2 of cereal this morning

Food Blog

 
Lately I've been thinking about the things I write on this blog.  Some are good.  Some are bad.  I just write, I don't have much of a filter.  Part of being a grown up is having a filter.  It's something I need to work on.  Speech is free, yes-- but I've got to be smarter about it.  Maybe.

I was thinking the other day, that I need to "tone it down" a bit on my blog, which sucks, because I think a lot of what I put out there needs to be said.  And if I can't say it on my blog, where can I?  That's one side of the argument.  The other side is that I need to be smart about what I write.  My mom tells me (often) that I shouldn't be writing half of the stuff I write on here.  I communicate through writing... it clears my head, mends my heart, makes shit meaningful and puts it context.  I suppose that is what a journal is for though.

Yesterday I thought to myself, maybe I should change ashamarie.com to a food and music blog.  Food and music can be non-political.  Well...music can be really political, but it won't get me in trouble like some of my writing will.  And food, well, access to food is political, and food itself is political...but taking pictures of food, I could do that.  

Here's the problem though.... I don't eat enough to do a food blog.  I was telling a friend about this idea, and she said "Yeah, you could post clementine and mixed nuts for lunch, granola bar and a beer for dinner, etc."  Okay, so maybe it's not that bad...but my friend thought it would be hilarious to have a food blog that wasn't extravagant like so many others are.  Makes sense to me...but we'll see.  

I went to a benefit last night for Ann Marsden at the Dakota.  If you aren't familiar with Ann's work, check her out.  She has an amazing eye, guided by a loving heart.  Anyhow...I didn't order any food, but took pictures of the food my friends ordered.  That's one way to do a food blog I suppose.  I could also start cooking more.  That might be a smarter option.  We'll see.

B's food.  Cell phone photo.

J & J's food.  Cell phone photo.

An offering.  Cell phone photo.

Q's food.  Cell phone photo.

I probably don't need to write "cell phone photo" after each picture I post.  I do that because the quality is so much poorer than with my regular camera.  But...if I start doing more food related entries, chances are I will be documenting with my cell phone quite a bit.  

Regardless, cheers to good friends and good food!

Observations

I just filled up my ice cube tray with (brita) filtered water.

I got frustrated today, because I wasn't practicing loving kindness towards myself.

That reminded me of an Alanis Morrisette song.  You know the one.

I just poured a shot of Makers Mark, with 2 ice cubes (from a bag, not the ice cube tray).

I finally got a new journal.

It's not the one I wanted, but I don't care.  It's a close second.

I've been listening to Florence and the Machine Lately.

I'm going to the Lauryn Hill concert in a couple weeks.  

I doubt she (Lauryn) is worth the money.

You only live once.

I've been fighting off a winter funk.

I can feel it trying to creep up on me.  What a creep.  

I was supposed to run a half marathon in Saint Paul on January 29.

That's crazy. 

I wrote to the race director and am getting my registration changed to the 10k.

I lost weight over the winter holiday.

I might be the only person I know who can say that.

I wish it was summer and I was fishing.

Today is January 6.  There are several months till summer.  

I need to start being more creative.

This means taking more photos.

Writing more music.

Writing more in general.

And perhaps doing some visual art.

I suck at visual art.

That's beside the point.

I want to cut my hair short.

I'm trying to wait until it's long enough to donate.

I don't like waiting.

I got a pair of dangling earrings for xmas.

I've been wearing them with a merino wool beanie.  

It works.

I want to go to more potlucks.

There's a potluck tonight.

I'm skipping it.

I might go to the pub instead.

I feel like I should write.

The kind of writing that is too close to my heart to share.

In trying to balance heart and mind, I've forgotten body and soul.

Resolve

I don't really believe in New Year's Resolutions.  I mean, I believe in them, they exist, whatever-- but I don't feel the need to have them.  No, I think everyday is a new day, and you should try that much harder to be better (??) than the day before.  Why wait till the beginning of a new year to change bad/old habits?  

A month or so ago, I decided my "resolution" was to quit saying "I should" and start saying "I will" or "I am."  For example, rather than saying "I should go for a run today" I'd say "I am going for a run right now."  I can't say that I've stuck to this resolution-- but it's been on my mind a lot, so that's a start.  

I worked at the group home on New Years eve day.  I worked about 10 hours and after a quick stop at Big Top arrived home around 8:30pm.  What to do....what to do.  Go get fucked up with my friends?  Meh-- doesn't appeal to me this year.  Go get fucked up with a bunch of people I don't know at Costellos?  Nope-- doesn't appeal to me either. 

I ended up staying home, having a few beers by myself, listening to music and just relaxing.  I took some time to write-- reflect on the past year.  2010 was an awesome year.

  I started running, trained and completed a half marathon, started playing guitar (again), got a job as the programs manager at an amazing theatre, and made some really beautiful friendships with amazing people.  2010 is going to be a tough year to beat. 

Like I said earlier-- I don't make resolutions-- at least not for the new year.  They ought to be made and evaluated several times throughout the year.  So...it just happened that I made a list of "Things I want to do in 2011" on December 31, 2010.  The list looks like this.  

-write more music

-play/practice more music

-run more consistently

-eat more

-write more (journal, blog, poetry, etc)

-join a (sports) team

-travel more

-camp more

-take more photos

-meditate (formally) more

-do more yoga too

So...this list should be looked at, added to, revised, etc throughout the year.  That's the plan.  It shouldn't be too hard.  I think that's just part of being a mindful person.  Being aware and living intentionally. 

I had coffee with a friend this morning-- I had reached out to her to talk about death/grieving, etc... and she-- being someone who has a pretty close relationship with God-- said that each day she asks god what her will is for the day.  Now, I don't have a close relationship with God...but that doesn't mean I can't ask the question.  I can ask myself-- what is my will today?  What am I here for?  What's my purpose?  What can I do?  What should I do?  What will I do?  

There's something about leaving affirmations on post it notes that appeals to me.  The other day, in the midst of my grieving, my friend said to practice non-judgment (on myself).  "Yeah right," I thought.  But I wrote myself a note anyway, and stuck it on my computer...it's a good reminder.  

Sometimes I have the urge to leave a note for myself on the door, that says "What will you do today?" or something similar.  I went to a bookstore the other day, and almost bought a daily calendar with Dalai Lama sayings-- but then I found a crossword calendar that totally won me over.  My point is -- sans the inspirational calendar-- I need to take a moment each day to really be mindful and appreciative of this life.  We only get one-- probably.  Might as well be present for it, yeah?

Happy New Years y'all.  Wishing you a kick ass 2011, filled with meaning, laughter and growth.