I don't really believe in New Year's Resolutions. I mean, I believe in them, they exist, whatever-- but I don't feel the need to have them. No, I think everyday is a new day, and you should try that much harder to be better (??) than the day before. Why wait till the beginning of a new year to change bad/old habits?
A month or so ago, I decided my "resolution" was to quit saying "I should" and start saying "I will" or "I am." For example, rather than saying "I should go for a run today" I'd say "I am going for a run right now." I can't say that I've stuck to this resolution-- but it's been on my mind a lot, so that's a start.
I worked at the group home on New Years eve day. I worked about 10 hours and after a quick stop at Big Top arrived home around 8:30pm. What to do....what to do. Go get fucked up with my friends? Meh-- doesn't appeal to me this year. Go get fucked up with a bunch of people I don't know at Costellos? Nope-- doesn't appeal to me either.
I ended up staying home, having a few beers by myself, listening to music and just relaxing. I took some time to write-- reflect on the past year. 2010 was an awesome year.
I started running, trained and completed a half marathon, started playing guitar (again), got a job as the programs manager at an amazing theatre, and made some really beautiful friendships with amazing people. 2010 is going to be a tough year to beat.
Like I said earlier-- I don't make resolutions-- at least not for the new year. They ought to be made and evaluated several times throughout the year. So...it just happened that I made a list of "Things I want to do in 2011" on December 31, 2010. The list looks like this.
-write more music
-play/practice more music
-run more consistently
-write more (journal, blog, poetry, etc)
-join a (sports) team
-take more photos
-meditate (formally) more
-do more yoga too
So...this list should be looked at, added to, revised, etc throughout the year. That's the plan. It shouldn't be too hard. I think that's just part of being a mindful person. Being aware and living intentionally.
I had coffee with a friend this morning-- I had reached out to her to talk about death/grieving, etc... and she-- being someone who has a pretty close relationship with God-- said that each day she asks god what her will is for the day. Now, I don't have a close relationship with God...but that doesn't mean I can't ask the question. I can ask myself-- what is my will today? What am I here for? What's my purpose? What can I do? What should I do? What will I do?
There's something about leaving affirmations on post it notes that appeals to me. The other day, in the midst of my grieving, my friend said to practice non-judgment (on myself). "Yeah right," I thought. But I wrote myself a note anyway, and stuck it on my computer...it's a good reminder.
Sometimes I have the urge to leave a note for myself on the door, that says "What will you do today?" or something similar. I went to a bookstore the other day, and almost bought a daily calendar with Dalai Lama sayings-- but then I found a crossword calendar that totally won me over. My point is -- sans the inspirational calendar-- I need to take a moment each day to really be mindful and appreciative of this life. We only get one-- probably. Might as well be present for it, yeah?
Happy New Years y'all. Wishing you a kick ass 2011, filled with meaning, laughter and growth.