Tuesday, July 19, 2011

What Will You Bring?

I woke up this morning, in bed, on top of my sheets, wearing next to nothing.  No...it was not a traumatic night...it was a hot night.  And not hot in a fun sexual way...but hot as in the overnight low was probably 80 degrees.

My alarm went off at 7am, but I'd already been awake, tossing and turning.  I had been dreaming about fishing...up north (not at my grampa's cabin, but with his fishing gear).  Anyhow, I laid awake in bed, and despite being awake, hit snooze on my alarm several times before actually getting out of bed.  

As I laid there, I thought about what I was going to bring to this day.  Everyone has an obligation to bring something to each day...but it should ultimately be their decision.  (note: the word obligation is a big one...it might not be the word I am looking for, as I don't like feeling obligated to anyone).  Regardless, in order for society to work (better), we all need to contribute something positive each day.  What was my contribution going to be?

Endless amounts of energy and smiles?  I doubt it.  I'm so effing tired...and have been for a while.  Laughter?  Ideally, yes.  But who can make that guarantee?  I laid there a while longer, thinking about how I could pose this as a facebook question, but then felt all too self-righteous like a Buddhist poser or something. 

My genuine self.  That's what I will bring today.  I try to bring my genuine most real self everyday, and I think I do a pretty decent job of it (those who've seen my mood swing can attest that I don't always hold back my emotions).  If I bring my true, most genuine real self to the world today, I have to believe that things will be okay.  

Everything happens for a reason, whether it is part of God's plan or it's just in the stars.  Even the things that really suck (natural and unnatural disasters) happen for a reason.  If I didn't believe that, I don't think I'd make it.  I don't know why things happen as they do, and I don't know why I react and feel the way that I do.... but for now, all I can do is take it in stride.  All I can do is accept my feelings and the world around me as they are.  Yes, things need to change (my feelings and the world), but being too quick to judge isn't going to get anyone anywhere. 

I really believe that in this world, love is a crucial component to making things work, grow, inspire, and be.  It may not be love from another, but loving one's self is a good place to start.  In the end, that's all we really have.

1 comment:

Greg said...

I don't think everything happens for a reason, and as an atheist I'm not too interested in gods plan and all, but I do know that the reason that I love you and cherish our friendship is because you always bring your genuine self to the day, as far as I know.