Monday, March 9, 2009

no schedule? no shit.

Just got back from therapy. Lady says I need a schedule.

I'm trying to graduate this year.... by the end of the summer.... initially I had hoped for this fall, but that got pushed back to spring, which has now slipped (past may) to summer.

Maybe I do need a schedule.

The problem I have (with schedules) is that "shit happens", things come up, sometimes it's too cold to go outside, what if I don't feel well?

What happens when I run out of excuses?

I like to study.... scratch that. I like to read, and I like to learn. I also like to do well (in school, and everything that I do). When I don't do well, I feel shitty (about myself) and frustrated (with myself). So why don't I do better? Because I've learned to get by (with high marks). And I'm great at sabotaging my future.

Therapy lady told me to write a song about it.... I tried last summer, but it didn't work out the way it was supposed to.... because I sabotaged it. Duh.

I need to get down with a schedule, or a routine of sorts. Sleep has always been an issue for me, and as much as I'd love to be a "morning person", I think I have been wired for action after the sun has set.

A schedule that I need to make and start to follow will have to do with schoolwork/studying. I need to spend a couple hours, several times a week....on the grind, nose in the books, putting stuff down and out.

I went to the Y with Nicole was great. I need to do that more often too. I'm trying to build my strength, so I can do a good job with Books. I've been sick the past week, driving myself (and others) mad.... and I need to focus on recovery and rebuilding.

Now is a good of time as any to start. Why wait till the start of a new month, or a new year....time is too precious to waste. And I've been wasting time, energy, money, and myself to unflattering limits recently. It's time to grow up and git er done. Or at least git er done.


No comments: