Friday, November 19, 2010

Eulogy: A letter to my grampa

I wrote this after my grampa died. I was 20. My best friend (amelia), her sister Rosie read this at their service. (my gramma and grampa died within a week of eachother-- yes, that's real love-- and so we had their service together).

I can't believe she read it. It meant the world to me...and she was so brave. Thank you Rosalie, you may never know how much your courage meant to me.


You’ve been my hero, my love, and my best friend. All of that in an 88-year man, with a big round belly. Who knew I’d fall in love with such a character?

Without you these past 4 months, a wave of loneliness has swept over me. I feel incomplete. You’ve been so much to me.

You’ve been the father I never had, you’ve been the hero I’ve always admired, and you’ve been the best friend that I’ve always needed.

I hope you know how much I love you.

I loved fishing with you, except for the time I fell through the hole in the ice.

I loved bowling with you at the student center, even though I’d always quit after half a game and make a run for the snack bar.

I loved sitting on your lap while we watched football. I got too big to sit on your lap, but we didn’t care, I’d squish you anyway.

I loved playing catch with you in the front yard, you jumping in the air after my wild throws, and chasing after balls headed to the neighbors yard.

I didn’t so much love when you made me stand outside on the deck, one cold winter night, because I didn’t finish my vegetables at dinner. You probably forgot about that by now. I didn’t.

I loved that you would come to my hockey games, and lay out the blanket for grandma and you to sit on. I could never focus on games when you were there, because I was always so happy and proud you were in the stands. Sometimes you’d clap when the other team scored. You were so nice.

I loved helping you get dressed at 7am this summer…but loved it more when you were still sleeping and I’d push your legs over and climb in bed with you.

I loved your big belly…sorry I always joked about you swallowing a bowling ball.

I loved that you showed me how to artificially inseminate a chicken, long before I knew what insemination was.

I loved yours and Kirk’s panicked reaction when I got carsick on the way to Canada. Y’all had no idea how to help the sick 10 year old Indian in the back seat.

I loved it this summer, when I asked you what your favorite music was, and you said “hip hop”.

I loved that I was your sweetie and you were my dude.

I loved holding your hand. I’d do anything to hold your fat, old, dry hands again.

I loved that you’d call me a smart ass, but never held it against me.

I loved that you were the “ladies man” of the nursing home. That’s quite the honor.

I loved that we shared clothes…well, that you let me take all your sweaters and button up shirts.

I loved your “women want me, fish fear me” shirt. I wear it when I miss you.

I loved that you promised me a jeep wrangler when I graduated college.

We both knew I wouldn’t graduate college in your lifetime.

I loved when I’d try to drink whisky and eat dry burnt toast with you, but couldn’t stomach it. You’d laugh, I’d grimace.

I loved that funny smell you always had. Old man smell.

I loved saying “stay out of trouble” when I’d leave the nursing home, and you’d sit there with a huge grin on your face because we both knew the kinds of trouble you could get into.

I miss you Grandpa. And I love you, so much. You mean the world and beyond to me.

I will never forget you, the love of my life, my super hero, my best friend.


It's hard for me to read this, and know it's been almost 6 years since my grampa died. It still feels like yesterday. He was the one person who understood me. He was my love.

Without him, i feel lost....yet, without him, I am inspired, to take it one step further. I want to make him proud.

1 comment:

Elizabeth Thao said...

Oh Asha, that was incredibly touching. I wipe tears from my eyes as I type this myself. There is no way that man couldn't know how much you love/d him.