Another tough day yesterday. Jeez. Same as the night before, at around 7pm, I got really anxious and wanted to go home. What’s the deal? I’d only been gone a night, and already missed my friends. I guess that’s a testament to how awesome my friends are. It also means though, that I am a big wimp, when it comes to going out of town alone. Again though, I think the not being able to call people (and had planned on calling people) is what’s throwing me off.
Yesterday, I spent a couple of hours, in a lawn chair, on the shore of lake Superior reading, highlighting, and taking notes. No fishing pole. It was nice. I kept thinking about how much I wanted to go home, and then kept thinking how silly that sounded, as I sat with such beautiful surroundings.
I talked to Greg (my former advisor) last night on chat. It was nice to “talk” to someone. I cried again yesterday too… huh, maybe I’m PMSing or something, I’m not sure.
I went to bed last night at about 10:30, thanks to 3mg of Melatonin. That stuff really helps, I think. I like going to bed early, I’ve decided, cuz then I get up earlier.
I was up this morning at 5am. Yup, 5am. I opened the curtain, and peered out the window… it was getting lighter. I thought to myself, if I don’t make it through tonight (in that I pack up and go home early), this would be my last sunrise over the lake for a while. I didn’t want that.
I put on just about every clothing item I had (I know it’s May, but at 5am, I wasn’t sure what to expect). I grabbed my iPod (just in case), my camera, and my phone (that doesn’t get reception).
Just behind some trees, the sky was pink. It was nice to look at, I guess, so I took some pictures (with my camera and with my phone). I tried to take some “self portraits” with my camera, but they all looked like shit… remind you, this was at 5am… nothing is cute about me at 5am.
I don’t know the last time I’ve seen the sunrise. There may have been a few times I’ve partied so hard that I’ve seen it on my way home, and there’s probably been a couple of road trips that I’ve seen it, but those instances are few and far between.
I wasn’t sure if I would even see the sun actually rise. I mean, what if it came from behind me? I waited a bit longer, messing with all the options on my camera, and then BOOM, there it was, this big-bright-beautiful sun.
It’s amazing to me how fast the sun moves. I took some pictures; messed around with the settings some more, and I swear the sun had moved significantly within minutes, maybe even seconds. It was pretty cool.
At 5:30 this morning, I headed back to the cabin. (Oh, and shout out to Meredith Rambow. I know you get up super early, like 4:30 or 5:00, and I definitely thought about you this morning, and thought about all the beautiful sunrises you see).
Anyhow, I went back to the cabin and 5:30 and jumped back into bed (with all my layers on). I also cranked the heat in here to about 80 degrees. The plan was to wake up at 6:30, which I did, but I didn’t much feel like getting up. So I went back to bed. It’s 10am now, and I’ve been up and moving for about 30 minutes. Hehe.
The plan today is to hammer out some work. I’ve got some more reading to do, for my paper on hip hop pedagogy, but I think I can write out my last two essays for my student teaching project without any problems. Anyhow, the plan is to work on my stuff through the afternoon (till about dinner time), and then either pack it up and come home, or go fishing.
I’ve got these 2 poles with me, I don’t know why I haven’t gone yet. I guess because I’d feel guilty if I was up here fishing, rather than studying. Another thing: I haven’t run since I’ve been here. I’m training for gramma’s half marathon, and really shouldn’t go 2 days without running, but I totally have. Maybe I will run today, early afternoon or something. I don’t know why I’ve been so hesitant to run up here… maybe cuz the air is so clean it freaks me out? I don’t know. There’s no excuse really.
Anyhow, if you’re reading this, thanks. If you’re reading this today, feel free to send some energy my way at 7pm, which is when I’ve struggled the last 2 nights. If you’re reading this after the fact, hit me up and see how my projects have come along. Hopefully I will have something good to report.