Peep Show

 So.... I went to Guatemala 3 weeks ago.  I took about 700 photos, and am just now beginning to go through them.  It's a big task-- for a few reasons. 

1. I don't have time.

2. Guatemala is beautiful

3. I want these photos to go beyond beautiful

4. I'm an imperfect perfectionist

5. I am "late" for work

Here are a few photos I messed with this morning.  More will follow...but I don't know when.

Christopher walking down the volcano

Gallo truck

Carne

Santos-- my favorite dude the whole trip!

Don Angel y Ebony

 Santos and Ebony are two of Angel's kids.  He had a few others, plus a wife, who were all present as we helped them build their new house.  Their original house (one room + a kitchen) was made out of cornstalks.  Their new house was made with cement. 

More photos soon....consider this a preview.  PS photos look better if you click on them.

 

Things I need

I have returned from Guatemala in one piece...more or less.  I spent a few days coughing up blood, a night with diarrhea, several days with a cough, and even more days with an ear ache.  I went to urgent care on Friday (8 days after the earache started) and was given meds to fix my ear infection and a sinus infection. 

I still feel like shit. 

I haven't been able to run in two weeks... my ear hurts, my energy--while low because of lack of appetite and lack of sleep-- is itching to get out of me through some kind of physical activity that I cannot do because I've got this damn cough/cold.

Here is what I need:

Someone to listen

Someone to touch me (even the dr. hardly touched me)

To edit photos from the trip

To write about the trip

To get more than 5-6 hours of sleep a night

To quit drinking really good beer-- the calorie count is ridiculous

To get my lungs back so I can run around again

To go out and hit softballs in the sun, and practice fielding fly balls

To see my friends

To write some music

A new computer (or clean/speed up my old one)

To stop crying

To stop trying to please everyone around me-- I don't have the energy or magic to make everyone happy.

To get rid of this mother effing ear pain

To start laughing more

To practice loving care towards myself

To get my schoolwork done

I think that's a good start.  Of course, I can't do them all at once, but I think starting by taking care of myself is a good place to begin.  I'm sick of being sick.  I'm sick of being misunderstood or just not heard at all.  I was thinking about that today as I left urgent care (second time in a week)-- I just feel so misunderstood.  "Well then speak up," my inner voice told me.  "You've got to speak up or you'll never be heard."