Saturday, March 5, 2011

Second Choice Blog

A lot has happened lately, I don’t really know where to start. I just wrote a long ass blog about a car accident I was in a week ago—but realized I can’t post it until I take care of some legal things first.

So…here’s an update on the rest of the happenings in my life.

1. I spilled half a beer on my laptop a week or two ago. It shut down. Since then, it has been worked on, halfway fixed, and will now turn on and run some programs. Half of the buttons don’t work, so when I type it looks like this “e, t’s asa. do ou ant to go ae a drn wt e?” Talk about frustrating! I need to get it all the way fixed—and soon!

2. I was in a car accident one week ago. On a very surface level, here’s what it looked like: I was hit. She fled. I chased. I stopped. I was harassed by the police. FUCK YOU TOO.

3.  I’m meeting a ton of cool kids/teenagers doing some amazing work. Jr High/High School kids can be real inspiring—if you just listen/watch/participate/learn/share.

4. I was entering student names/emails into a database today, and some of the entries were really….well, I’m not sure what to call them. Not professional? Sure. But these are kids—when I was a kid, I wasn’t thinking about I was more along the lines of Which one should be put on a resume? The first one, obviously. As I was entering contact information this morning, I started thinking about our responsibility as educators, mentors, parents, friends, neighbors, youth workers, etc. What is our responsibility to young people today? When I see an email address like I want to say to the kid “Please tell me you have an alternative email address on your resume.” But then what?

I’ve been in conversations where kids talk about stereotypes and how they are unfairly represented and treated…I get that. I’ve been on both sides of the conversation (and continue to be on both sides). But then you have to do something about it. You (the one being pigeon-holed, put in a box, stereotyped), you have to give them (individuals, society, anyone and everyone) some other way to see you.

When people look at me, more often than not, they will see a brown female. (For those who say you don’t see color… you’re lying and doing yourself and your world a disservice). If I’m dressed down and talking shit, people may think I’m poor and uneducated. If I’m dressed up and articulating myself well, people may still think I’m poor and uneducated—and that’s a risk that will always be there, but it doesn’t hurt to hold yourself in high regard anyway. I know I’m not the best at it; that I have many areas I can improve—and frankly, it will probably always be that way. If I reach a point where I can no longer improve, it means I’ve sold myself short, given up, and shouldn’t bother living another day.

5. Speaking of living another day—I’ve been in a funk lately, some days worse than others. Imagine that. Daylights savings time switches in about a week, and I can’t even begin to tell you how excited I am. It doesn’t seem to matter how many Vitamin D capsules I take each morning… winter seems to kick my ass by February or March year after year. I’m looking forward to more sun and more light in just 8 days. I know it won’t solve all of my problems, but it may lessen a few.

6. The “Celebration of Winter” was snowed out. Literally. Over a foot of snow fell that night; meaning only a small number of people were able to attend. I’m really appreciative of those who did come, but I’d also like to say that I will be having it again. Perhaps next Sunday would be a good time (as it is the change in daylight savings time). That would seem appropriate. I’ll have to call Costello’s to confirm. I will post something here, on Facebook, in a mass e-mail and likely a mass text message with details.
That’s probably it for now. I spent this morning working from home. I will go for a run later this afternoon. I’ve been cooking a lot, and have photos I should post soon… (having a working computer would speed up this process). I’m glad winter is over, or is going to be over soon. I’m excited for warm weather, more daylight, less ice and no more below zero wind chills. I’m ready to plant my garden, learn how to look cute on my skateboard, show off my ankles, and really embrace spring. I’m ready.


Greg said...

This makes me think about the things I thought about you when I first met you, as I got to know you, etc.

Lizz said...

Hey Ash-

Just wanted to say I share your feelings about Winter...and can't wait to celebrate it with you when the celebration actually goes down.

Much love. Take care.