As of late.

Things I have been thinking about lately.... (but haven't written down until now). Oops.

PS These are in no particular order of importance or otherwise.



1. Why fathers/men name their kids after them, but women do not. I've never met a "Sally Jr", or Melinda III. Have you.

2. Gay kids killing themselves. If you haven't been thinking about this, you haven't been paying attention. Last week there was a vigil at Loring Park that I went to with a friend of mine. There were a couple hundred people there, maybe more. My candle kept blowing out. The vigil was nice, but what does it do? Ideally, at least one part of it could be that people who were feeling shitty about who they are, could go and see that they are loved and supported. There was lots of talk about how "we" need to teach others to be tolerant and teachers need to step in, etc... but I'd be willing to bet that those who needed to hear such things were not at the vigil.

3. My new job is amazing. I met some of the kids, they are brilliant. I am excited for my future.

4. Yep, I said it. I am excited for my future. :)

5. I ran twin cities 10 mile race a couple weeks ago. My goal was 80 minutes. I ran 80 minutes and 52 seconds. I didn't meet my goal, but I did have a mimosa at mile 8. <--- I wouldn't have made my goal even if I skipped the mimosa, so don't hate.

6. I've been trying to de-clutter my apartment. One of the things I struggle with is what to do with my grampa's clothes. Some of his sweaters and button ups, I will wear. Others, I probably wont, but I can't throw them out. I talked to a friend the other day, and she suggested I make hats and mittens out of the sweaters I wont wear. I think this is a fabulous idea! I need to learn how to knit though.... anyone want to teach me? Also, if you are a man, with a frame bigger than me (not hard, i know), you can have these button up shirts. Get at me. I don't want to give them to the goodwill (I have other stuff to give to the goodwill). I want to give them to friends.... cuz they are important to me.

7. I need to learn how to let go.

8. I 'm trying to eat more. If you are reading this, and we are friends.... hit me up. Lets cook dinner or go to a happy hour. :)

9. I've been listening to the music that I wrote. Some of it is good. I want to make more music.

10. I got a skateboard. I rode it once, a half a block. I should ride it more, especially before it snows!

11. I need a headshot for work.

12. I need to get internet at my house. I can finally afford it!

13. We are winterizing the garden today. I'm already wearing my overalls.

14. My cousin got married a month and a half ago. I did the wedding photography. It's a lot of work. Good work, but a lot of work. I was happy with how the day went and how the photos turned out. He was too :)

15. I still need running partners. I've been running with a couple of dudes, and it's been great. It needs to happen more often. Holla!

16. I'd been feeling kind of dejected lately, because I'm not as into politics as I used to be. I felt like I was less of a person/citizen, cuz I don't see the point of door knocking and bleeding heart and soul over politicians who really dont give a F*#$ about ya. I realized though... I do still care about the ways of the world, and the future, and that my way of being politically active is through teaching. I may not hold up signs on the franklin bridge, or go to conventions or rallies... but I do talk to kids and the work I am doing know is all about supporting them and their projects for creating social change. That is how I can be an activist.

17. I don't have a TV, so I'm not seeing all the political ads that are abuzz. This makes me happy.

18. This year, I am going to become a member of MPR. I can finally afford it. This also makes me happy.

19. Clearly, I am procrastinating. It's my day off. I need to finish sorting laundry, get new running shoes, help my mom winterize the garden, and ideally start working on my school work.

20. I will try to update my blog more often. I know I make that promise a lot.... but now that it's getting cooler out, and I'll have a stable internet connection at my place... I think writing will be less of a chore. We'll see.

How Skateboarding Almost got Ruined by Perverts

I want to get a skateboard. Actually, I want to get a longboard. There are several places within a mile of my house, that I like to frequent. Walking there is fine, I do it often, but I also get bored pretty fast. Biking there is easy, though short, and sometimes not worth the effort (...where did I put my lock, where is my helmet, the front tire might have a leak, etc). Driving seems like a waste of time, especially as it getting cooler, and my car wouldn't even have enough time to get warm. I can run to all of these (elusive-unnamed) places, but arriving sweaty and out of breath is not always my first choice.

My solution to all of this is to get a longboard, obviously. Of course, a longboard will only be able to be ridden for half of the year or less. It doesn't work so well in snow and ice, nor does riding in the rain leave one with a flattering look and windblown locks.

Upon doing a google search of longboards, I found hundreds of different options, varying in style/price/materials. So what do I choose? I have no idea. Part of me also wonders if buying a longboard is worth it. Maybe I should get a regular skateboard, so I have a little more flexibility in its use (in case I decide to practice and compete in X-Games). Yeah right. Anyhow, my point is, I have no idea what I want.

I was at my moms the other day, and there were a bunch of kids in the neighborhood on their boards. During the summer, I swear that is all they do. I miss those days, granted I wasn't on a skateboard when I was a kid. I was usually off scrapping with the boys, or pissing off the tennis snobs by playing roller hockey on the courts. Anyhow, it occurred to me, that the best way to find out what kind of skateboard I want is not to read countless reviews online, but to just go out and find people who will let me try out theirs.

So here is the problem. As kids, we were told not to talk to strangers... cuz for every X amount of awesome and well intentioned people, there is gonna be some perverted d-bag who is going to kill you, kidnap you, cop a feel on you, or all of the above. Every now and then, while reading the paper, I see a brief that says "Dude in car lurking around bus stops, asked girl for directions, girl ran away screaming". And that's legit. She should have, cuz that is what she was taught.

So my issue is that I don't want to be "that dude", which clearly I cannot be for the obvious reason (I am not a dude). But you get what I mean. As well intentioned as I am, and as honest and as gentle of a person as I am... it really doesn't matter when it comes to talking to kids. I mean yeah, I still talk to kids, and wave to them when I run by them during my training, and smile at them when I see them, or make funny faces at them while waiting in line at the store or out to eat.... but you never can know for sure when the kid will read into it the wrong way, or the parent will get pissed off at you, or any other number of things that might go wrong.

There are kids in my neighborhood that I don't know. I haven't introduced myself to them, yet. I will, and I think the best time to do that is when the parents are around. I have this image in my head, of me talking to some neighborhood kid, and a "concerned parent" seeing me out of their window across the street and becoming fearful.

It's fucked up that we live in a world that kids and parents (and humans in general) are taught to fear "strangers". People who are "different" than us, older or younger, darker or lighter, from nearby or across the pond... we've been blasted with messages of "stranger/danger", which yes, is true, sometimes... but what about the other times? What about the fun, genuine people, like me, who just want to try out your skateboard so I can decide 1. if I want a shortboard or a longboard. 2- if I can do a kick-flip.

I probably will hit up one of the neighborhood kids about their skateboard. Forget the culture of fear and perverts. I want to be real in my exchanges and interactions with people in my community, so I will.

As I reread this blog, I see how it sounds like I am afraid to just be me and afraid to talk to the kids in the neighborhood. That's not the case. I'm just disappointed that it's even an issue, that there are people in this world who are so messed up in the head, that they would take advantage of young minds and bodies. They ruin it for everyone.

I'm having a hard time articulating myself in this post, which is weird, cuz I love kids and I love to write. I'm not sure what the problem is, but I'm taking it as a sign to end this entry. I'll let you know when I get a skateboard. Until then...

I'm Alive!

I have been alive this whole time too.... My apologies for not writing.

This summer was one of the best summers yet! And for once...I realized it.

I often found myself saying, "damn, my life is SO good right now". I said this a lot...to others, to myself, in my journal, in my actions. Life is good.

What makes it good? Plenty of things. Probably the most important thing would be my friends/family. I was extremely active this summer, not only in the literal/physical way, but also much more intentionally social with folks. Banging.

School is school, and I'm taking my projects a bit more seriously this time around. I need/want to get them done ASAP.

Work is work... and I will write more on that later, when the time is right. :)

This morning (monday), I walked to the coffee shop (at the corner) to get a paper. I like doing crosswords on monday's, because it's the one day of the week that I have a chance at finishing them. Besides, I want to check out my horoscope to see if I like it or not. Anyhow, I went to the paper machine, put in 2 dimes and a nickel....and what did I get? NOTHING. No paper, no change back, nothing. I smiled, and walked back to my house, empty handed. "Must not have been a good horoscope then", I thought to myself.

Today I am going to edit photos from my cousin's wedding (a week and a half ago). I've got a new website, but it's still in the works. Stayed tuned.

I ran a race this weekend.... it was a small one, and not very competitive. That said, I placed 7th overall, and was the 2nd female finisher. This is a bit deceiving, because I am actually not fast at all... however, it's cool because with a 2nd place female finish (and 1st in my division), I win a prize. I don't know what the prize is, they are going to mail it to me... but I am hoping that it is cash.

I think one of the other big reasons my summer kicked ass is because I ran a lot. I ran gramma's half marathon in June. I ran a 193 mile relay race with 11 people I'd never met before in August, and now here I ran this 10k a couple days ago. Up next is the TC 10 mile (October 3). I'm still looking for a sponsor... I'm hoping costello's will pull through. Seems like good advertising to me... I'm going to be running past tens of thousands of spectators....and, since I'm not very fast... people will actually be able to read what my shirt/bra reads. We'll see.

It's beautiful outside. And I'm inside. Time to change that. I'll try and write more often as well. I think about stuff to write everyday, but I never seem to make the time to actually write it down. Lame. This will change.

-asha.

I'm a sucker for a cream based soup.

Here's the deal--

This is not going to turn into a food blog. I can promise you that. However, this morning, I got to thinking.... I am a sucker for a cream based soup.

This morning, my friend Keri called me to make plans for playing guitars later today. We've been practicing on our own for the last week or so, and are gonna hook up today and see how we sound. I'm excited. I hadn't played my guitar for so long before that. Anyhow, Keri called around 930, thinking I would still be asleep. Sorry friend, you were wrong. We made plans for later in the day, and then just chatted on the phone for a while. Keri mentioned something about having made hash browns for breakfast yesterday. Yum.... hash browns. I instantly got hungry for them.

I'm on a budget now (i.e. I'm pretty close to broke), so I couldn't just take myself out to eat.... which was of course my first choice. 2nd pick, walk to the co-op, which is half a mile away. As I left my apartment, I noticed my car... and I had to stop and give it some thought. I was super tired, and super hungry.... I could just drive to the co-op, or even drive somewhere else and get food. But I thought better of it.... I know I enjoy my little walks. Makes me feel accomplished in some weird way.

Anyhow, I got to the co-op and here's what I bought. Remember, I went for hash browns.

2 yellow squash.
2 zucchinis.
3 things of the best yogurt ever.
1 thing of raspberry jam
bulk items: granola, mixed nuts, sesame sticks
6 brown eggs
1 pack of string cheese
2 red plums
1 black plum
1 package of hash browns
1 sunday paper
1 package of extra firm tofu.

I came out pretty well, I think. I've usually got to go grocery shopping when I'm hungry...otherwise, I wont get much of anything.

Oh, and so the title of this blog... I can't forgot about that. So...as I'm walking through the aisles, picking random things, snacking on items that are clearly NOT labeled "sample", I come to the deli. I say hi to my friends mom who works there, and then start looking at the soups. "something or other chowder". Fuck.... I love me some chowder. For real. Clam chowder, corn chowder, chicken chowder....whatever, I love it. I opened the lid of the pot, and took in the aroma that was steaming out of the top. Yum. I put the lid back on, and just stood there. (i'm sorry for anyone who had to watch my dilemma). I though to myself, "Damn, I really want this soup, and it's ready right now, unlike these hash browns which will take a while to cook". But...I was here for the hash browns.... that's why I walked up there in the first place. I smelled the soup once more.... and kind of messed with the ladle that was in there. Ugh, I closed the lid and walked away, feeling salty (yes, pun intended.... i was at a grocery store after all).

I went home and started to cook my hash browns. I started snacking on the sesame sticks and string cheese while I waited. I sent a text to my neighbor, to see if she had some ketchup. By the time my hash browns finished cooking, I wasn't really hungry. I didn't get any ketchup either. I used hot sauce....which tasted better than any ketchup would have.

So here I am, on my couch, with a belly full of sesame sticks and hash browns. Oh, and some yogurt. "Breakfast" is my biggest meal of the day (ideally), so I went all out this morning. It's okay though.... because while I am stuffed and waiting for this food to digest (so I can go on a run before Keri and I hook up), I will do the sunday crossword puzzle.

Life is good.

-asha.

Things I love...

Every now and then, I like to make a list of things I love...as a reminder that I do love things, love life, love being present.

I thought about doing that today, but have opted to write more about who I am. This may include things I love. This may include weird character traits. I'm not sure. I haven't written it yet.

Definitions of ourselves should be fluid. What "defines" me today, may not tomorrow. Maybe it will, I don't know, and I don't like the idea of having to know.

I could do this as an "I am" poem, but those always end up being too fucking deep. I don't want deep. I want surface... at least initially for this task.

(is this a task? i don't know. not really, i don't think). I think I need some coffee. Or maybe some tea. Something to wake my ass up. My water bottle is the closest thing to me... so water it is.


About me.

Food/Drink:
-I like my water at room temperature.
-I like my diet coke from a can.
-I like my vodka sodas with 2 limes and 1 lemon.
-I like green peppers only when they are raw.
-But don't like yellow/red peppers raw.
-One of my favorite things is to watch cream and coffee mix. It reminds me of a bi-racial relationship.
-I love ice cream. I eat it whenever I can. Like this morning for example. But I had a banana with it, to make it seem more like "breakfast".
-I love meat. But I'm broke, so I don't buy much of it.
-I love to cook, but cooking for 1 person (myself) is boring, so I don't cook as often as I'd like.
-I don't like to eat leftovers...this is probably because I don't have a microwave.
-Things reheated that I enjoy: Pizza (in a frying pan), and chinese food (also in a frying pan).
-I like sugar free popsicles, not because I'm watching my weight, but because they taste good.


Sports:
-I played hockey for 12 years. I could have played (lower end) D1. I kind of wasted that opportunity/talent.
-I lost my skates, sometime after high school.... I borrowed some from a friends brother, and had to give them back this winter. Now, I have no skates.
-I love to fish. Is that a sport? It's on TV sometimes.... and they have fishing jerseys, so it must be a sport.
-Why aren't there any women who umpire professional baseball?
-I played softball from when I was a little kid (actually, I started out in baseball), through the 9th grade. My coach always thought I cheated when we had to run the big block (around central). I was just that fast.... (compared to some thick softball players, big deal). She turned me off of the sport. I played a bit on a co-ed team with some friends, but the guys did the typical guy thing, and would basically run the women down trying to catch balls that were clearly not in their side of the field.
-I've gotten back into running lately. Thank god. I was slacking, and needed to make a change.
-Today I signed up to be a mentor for boulder options (like big brothers big sisters, but focuses on running/cycling).
-A couple of winters, I decided I should be a long jumper (mostly because my legs are long). I trained for a month or two, and competed in an open race at the U. I didn't come in last place.


Music/Sound
-I love music. Lots of people say that, but I really do. I take pride in my music library. -Sometimes people have asked to get my whole library on their ipod. I say no. This makes me a hater, I know... but I just can't do it. My iTunes library is my baby. I'll make you a mix CD though, any day of the week.
-In my little apartment, I have 2 turntables, a guitar, 2 keyboards, a drum, and a trumpet. Believe it or not, I'm actually a pretty quiet neighbor.
-I used to have a "sound machine" that I'd put on when I slept. I'm letting a friend use it this summer, since I have a window fan going most nights.
-I want to learn how to read music. I'm not very disciplined when it comes to doing it though.
-One of my favorite things is to wear my big ass headphones at track meets. This is for 2 reasons... one, it prevents me from getting "spooked" when the gun goes off. and two, it's really amazing to listen to sigur ros type stuff while watching fast/intense running races...it's kind of surreal.
-I want to see stevie wonder play live. Ideally at First Ave (or my house, if he really wanted to).


School/Education.
-I've been in/out/around college for 8 years. I'm still working on my bachelor's degree. I'm annoyed.
-I think education outside of the classroom is equally (if not more so) important that "traditional" education. I wish more people thought that way.
-I want to be a high school english teacher. Or maybe a counselor. Or maybe a social worker. I don't really know what exactly, but I want to be in a position to use music/art/creative writing to -help youth work through their issues/concerns in positive ways.
-I still keep in touch with some of my teachers, one from almost 20 years ago.
-I collect books, many of them non-fiction. I want to have my own library (at my house). -Furthermore, when I have a question about something, I want to be able to look it up in a book, not on wikipedia.
-I like to write. I should do it more often. I should do a lot of things more often.


Other things:
-I love hooded sweatshirts, and wearing layers of clothes. I can't do this in the summer, so I wear what every other mid 20's girl is wearing right now.... knee length shorts. Sigh.
-I love old people. LOVE them.
-I have the soul of an old man.
-My grampa was my best friend. If you've been reading my blog for a while, you should know this.
-I am not a morning person, but I am trying hard to be.
-I have a lot of different friends, from all over the place....they are different colors, genders, orientations, classes, personalities, ages, etc. My friends are awesome.
-I'm liberal in my thinking, but get annoyed with liberals. I get annoyed with conservatives too... but at least conservatives are honest about being greedy.
-I love st paul. I'm a st paul kid. I may leave, travel, study, whatever, but my heart is in st paul.
-I love kids. They are inspiring, humbling, challenging, etc... I want more kids in my life (not my own kids--yet, but kids to hang out with for a couple hours, or a couple days... and when they get bratty, teach them a lesson first and then give them back to their parent/s.
-My couch is more comfortable than my bed. If you stay the night, and we are not sleeping together, don't be surprised if I take the couch.... and yes, I'm trying to be a good host and give you the bed.
-I might go to noon meditation downtown st paul today.
-I'm true to my word. If I make a promise, I will keep it. (the only time I will break it, is if someone's health/life is in danger.... and if that's the case, I will let you decide who needs to make it known).
-I love doing the NYT's crossword puzzle. When I complete them (it's only happened a handful of times), I hang them up on my fridge.
-On saturday I wore a little white dress for a bachelorette party. Monday I wore carhartt overalls and worked a construction job. Tuesday I wore a business suit. Not to brag, but I made all of them work.


That's probably it for now. I've clearly bored myself. More soon. Oh, and the following is a picture that kind of describes my summer so far.... music and dead flowers. Life is good.

1:48:15

A couple weeks ago, I ran 12 miles with Jamie Cheever. It was the longest run of my life... so when I got home, I threw on dry clothes and went to the pub for a couple of "celebratory" beers. I didn't stretch very well, and this was a mistake. My legs were sore for the next week and a half, and my training dwindled.

Gramma's Half Marathon was this Saturday, June 19th. I'd been nervous leading up to it, for a couple of reasons. 1. I was not sure where I was staying. 2. I was not very happy with my running the last couple of weeks.

I woke up on Friday morning to pick up Koby, and I was nervous as hell. My stomach was doing all kinds of funky things, and I thought to myself... "even though the race isn't till tomorrow, I'm having my pre-race jitters". That was fine though, as I hoped then that race day would leave me cool and collected.

Koby and I arrived in Duluth on Friday afternoon. We picked up my race packet, and had a pasta dinner. After dinner, we watched the 5K, that Erin Ward and Carrie Tollefson dominated. Next, I met up with Leigh and Keith for a beer at Old Chicago. I went back to the tent where Koby and I camped (about a mile from downtown Duluth). I popped a melatonin pill around 9:30, and was asleep by 10.

Race day: Alarm sounds at 4am. Fuck, that's early. I went to the car, and got changed. I ate a PB sandwich, and took my vitamins. Koby dropped me off at about 5:00am to catch the shuttle to the start of the race. The shuttle ride was about 15-20 minutes, and it was nice to talk with people about the race and share the excitement.

It was about 55 degrees at the start of the race, and I was hesitant to undress (into my racing outfit of a sports bra and little shorts), because I didn't want to get cold. I had to be ready for the start though, so I stripped down and threw my sweats in a bag with a couple thousand other people's bags.

I was supposed to meet my friend Chris at the 1:50 pace setter, as my goal was to run 1:50 or faster. I saw 2 hour balloon, but along side it said 8 minute pace. Up where the 1:50 guy was, it said 7:45 pace. WTF, I thought? Had a been wrong in my math all along? I had e-mailed a bunch of people a few days prior, and said my goal was 1:50. If 1:50 was a 7:45 pace, I would be screwed. I lined up with the 8 minute pace people, and away we went.

A few minutes into the race (actually, probably 4-5 minutes into it, as it took me 2 minutes to even cross the starting line), I saw chris. What a relief. I told him I thought my math was wrong, but he reassured me, things were just lined up kind of funny at the race.

We ran together for the first couple of miles, and then parted ways. "Run your own race", Chris said to me. He was right. I needed to "own" my race.... I was the one in charge.

I ran with an older guy about 5-6 miles into the race. I had met him on the shuttle to the starting line. I told him this was my first half marathon. He said I was doing great. "7:54 we just ran that last mile in". Yikes... that's a touch too fast, this early in the race, I thought. I felt pretty good, but didn't want to push it.

One of my goals for the race was to run the 2nd half faster than the first. By this time, I had lost the 1:50 pacer... he was ahead of me. "Stay calm", I told myself.

Along the route, there were people cheering, as well as people handing out water/powerade, sponges, and fruit. I had read once, to take a sponge that they hand out, and keep it in your shorts. When you go through the water lines, you can dip your sponge in there and just suck the water out of it. It helps you hydrate without slowing down too much. This was one of my race tactics.

I grabbed a couple of orange slices along the route as well. I don't know if these helped or not, but I pretended like they did. I had heard from a friend that they hand out beer along the course too... but I was suspicious of this. Low and behold, somewhere along mile 10 (?) was a row of young men handing out "cold beer". I slowed down a bit, and thought to myself, "if I take this, will I sabotage my race"? I thought not, so I grabbed a cup and took a few sips. I'd read in Bob Glover's book "The Competitive Runner's Handbook" that a couple of beers every night isn't a bad thing, because it metabolizes faster than food. Anyhow, the beer didn't hurt me.

I wanted to stop running after about 10 miles. Even when I ran a 10 mile "race" a couple weeks ago, I stopped and stretched during the middle of it. This time though, I kept on.

I ran my last 1.2 miles around a 7:45 pace. I often have a pretty big kick at the end, which is something I don't want.... I want to be spent by the time I get to the end, so learning that my last mile was a quick one makes me happy.

Anyhow, I crossed the finish line at 1:50 something or other, but my actual (chip) time was 1:48:15. I achieved my goal.

Koby biked around and took pictures, and I will post them here. (note: I did some minor color editing to these pictures, but she was the photographer). I took a few pictures the night before, of the 5K, as well as a couple of pictures on sunday of Koby in Lake Superior. I will post a few of these as well.

Anyhow, this was longer than I anticipated...(I have schoolwork to do, that I am putting off, obviously). Short story long... I finished my first half marathon, and achieved my goals (to run 1:50 or faster, run the 2nd half faster than the first, and place in the top 10% of all women finishers).

I'm not sure what my next race will be. I want to drop my time to 1:45 or faster, which will take some consistent training. I might run a 10k in July, and then go for another half marathon in August. We'll see. I've been looking online for races, but none have really "jumped out" at me.

So that's the story of my first half marathon. Thanks to Koby for taking pictures and finding us a place to camp, and congrats to all my friends who ran this weekend. Oh, and thanks to those who sent me some positive energy over the weekend.

my race results.

photo taken by koby, edited by asha.

photo taken by koby, edited by asha.

photo taken by koby, edited by asha.

photo (of chris and asha) taken by koby, edited by asha.

re-hydrating with friends after the race. (photo taken by koby, edited by asha).

carrie tollefson running the 5k on 06.18.2010.

carrie tollefson and erin ward (winning the 5k). 06.18.2010.

koby heading to the lake. 06.20.2010.

koby in the lake. 06.20.2010.

Legacy

I ran 12 miles today. I'm exhausted. I'd love to write about how awesome Luis Castillo's "Michael Jackson Legacy Concert" was... but I'm too tired. Here are some photos from Thursday nights show. Congrats to Luis, the other dancers, and everyone else involved in the production.

Note: Click to open photos. They look better when viewed larger.