Andy and I went camping a few days ago-- it was awesome. Photos will be posted by the end of the weekend (ideally)...or actually right now. My favorite part of the trip was Monday morning at 5am. I told Andy I wanted to be awake to watch/photograph the sun rising. He said it was okay if I woke him up, so I did as passively as possible... by opening and closing the zippers on my tent. Surely he would hear that and get up on his own. After zipping and unzipping and getting dressed and ho-humming along, I said "Andy, are you awake" in this really sweet voice. "I am," he said. A few minutes later, we were down on the dock to watch the sun.
Having slept only about 5 hours the night before, we were both pretty tired. I got some good photos, and then fell asleep in my chair. It was perfect. We sat/laid out on the dock for a couple of hours before packing up and heading home. It was quiet, and beautiful. Before we left, I told Andy I needed to go say goodbye to the lake. I shuffled down the home made stairs built into the ground by the cabin, and I stopped at the "beach." I looked to the left where my gramma's walking path was. I had a picture of that path from several years ago, with the sun shining through the trees-- I always felt like my gramma was the sun in that picture. On Sunday I had tried to recreate that photo to no avail. When I looked at the path from the beach on Monday morning, the sun was shining like it had years ago. A perfect photo opportunity, I thought to myself. But like I had said the day before-- I don't need to recreate the past. I need to just enjoy the present for what it is.
I walked to the end of the dock and looked out at the lake. It was beautiful, as it always is. The sun was high in the sky by then, and so I looked directly at it and took a deep breath in. The wind was blowing, not too hard, providing a comforting breeze. "Thank you," I said as I looked back across the lake. "I miss you guys," I said to the sky, feeling the energy and love of my grandparents. "And I love you." I don't know that I believe in prayer or god very strongly, but I put my hands in prayer position and slightly bowed forward. "Thank you," I said again.
I turned back towards the cabin and walked up to the car. "Okay, I'm ready to go," I told Andy. And I was.
Woke up, took a shower, and this song was in my head....
Which I thought was funny....because I feel much more like this....
Sad day. So what else could be on my soundtrack for today?
Better...I guess.
I am going up north tomorrow morning. To my grandparents cabin, actually!! I'm really excited. I haven't been up there for years! Andy Wilbourn and I are going...which is great to go camping with someone who knows what they're doing in the woods. (Yes...we are camping at the cabin...that way we don't mess anything up). We had hoped to camp at a state park, but low and behold, the Minnesota State Government has shut down.
Regardless, I'm excited to fish off the dock, go explore the woods, check out the other lake my family owns (I remember going there only one time, so there's lots of learning to do). I'm pumped to walk the trail that my gramma loved to walk.
I was talking to a coworker yesterday, and said that if there was any one place I felt the most close to my grandparents, I think it would be the cabin.
We leave Saturday morning, and return Monday early afternoon so I can get to my moms 4th of July Party (which for her is more important than xmas, not because she's super patriotic, but because it's when our family used to always get together-- when my grandparents were alive-- and go to Saint Anthony Park for the parade and BBQ). It's an important day for my mom, and I'm glad to be a part of it.
Our summer program at work starts on Tuesday, which means we've been working hard to get everything ready. I'm excited to get going on things! I'm hoping it will be a good summer...it's been a (personal) challenge so far (I was sick for a month)... so anything really is better.
Things I need this summer: cool friends to hang out with (especially ones who like to run, meditate, practice yoga, and don't spend a lot of time/money/energy around booze). Oh, I also like to BBQ so I want to find more folks who are into that too. And people to go to coffee shops with, and sit around at a park and read books or watch my pathetic attempts at drawing. Oh yes, and photographers. I know my new friend Tom has been wanting to do a night shoot...I need to take him up on it! Oh yes...and I want a fishing buddy. Duh.
I realize I can do all of this stuff on my own...but life sure seems more fun with it's enjoyed with other people. I've done a poor job of reaching out to friends so far this summer (except in the last week), and it's something I want to do more of-- not reach out because shit hits the fan, but reach out because there are people in this world who I love (and I think love me) that we could grow together as friends and do positive things in, with, and for our community...or something like that.
