no schedule? no shit.

Just got back from therapy. Lady says I need a schedule.

I'm trying to graduate this year.... by the end of the summer.... initially I had hoped for this fall, but that got pushed back to spring, which has now slipped (past may) to summer.

Maybe I do need a schedule.

The problem I have (with schedules) is that "shit happens", things come up, sometimes it's too cold to go outside, what if I don't feel well?

What happens when I run out of excuses?

I like to study.... scratch that. I like to read, and I like to learn. I also like to do well (in school, and everything that I do). When I don't do well, I feel shitty (about myself) and frustrated (with myself). So why don't I do better? Because I've learned to get by (with high marks). And I'm great at sabotaging my future.

Therapy lady told me to write a song about it.... I tried last summer, but it didn't work out the way it was supposed to.... because I sabotaged it. Duh.

I need to get down with a schedule, or a routine of sorts. Sleep has always been an issue for me, and as much as I'd love to be a "morning person", I think I have been wired for action after the sun has set.

A schedule that I need to make and start to follow will have to do with schoolwork/studying. I need to spend a couple hours, several times a week....on the grind, nose in the books, putting stuff down and out.

I went to the Y with Nicole yesterday....it was great. I need to do that more often too. I'm trying to build my strength, so I can do a good job with Books. I've been sick the past week, driving myself (and others) mad.... and I need to focus on recovery and rebuilding.

Now is a good of time as any to start. Why wait till the start of a new month, or a new year....time is too precious to waste. And I've been wasting time, energy, money, and myself to unflattering limits recently. It's time to grow up and git er done. Or at least git er done.

pre-schedule(d)

food.

I've recently been on this kick to eat better food. It's hard cooking (for myself and one other), especially since we both don't like to eat the same things over, and over, and over again.

I went to Kai's boat last week, to get my study on....because sometimes you have to make a big change in scenery when stuck in a studying rut... and we made some lunch. We made pizza, which I think Kai does often, but I had never done before (unless you count english muffins with cheese and pasta sauce a "pizza").

I don't like red sauce, so I used olive oil on mine, and added some prosciutto (which upon buying it at my local co-op realized how crazy expensive it is!), some spinach, some mozzarella, some tomatoes, and a bit of black pepper. All this on top of some dough from Cossettas. Yum!

my pizza!

Cheeky Monkey Deli just opened, a block from my house! Ryan, Jen and I went there the other day for lunch. It was real tasty! Ryan got a nutella and banana sandwich, jen got a chicken and avocado sandwich, and I got a brie and ham sandwhich (on Ciabatta bread). I think our sandwhiches were each 5 dollars, which is great since i saved half of mine for dinner. And the refills on coffee are free! Hooray for a good local deli. I didn't take any pictures, because my little camera is in Hawaii with my boss Emily.

Speaking of work.... I've hurt my back, from guess what? Doing books! Sad. I went to a sports medicine doctor yesterday, who basically said that I need to start lifting weights (or quit my job), because I'm a wimp who can't life boxes of books. The doctor was a pretty serious guy, which is too bad, because I wanted to tell him all the names I made for the knots in my back (hilary, hilda, gregory, and lawrence).

Anyhow, I guess it gives me good reason to get back to the Y. I need to start doing books again (I haven't for the last couple of weeks b/c of my back), so I can stay busy and earn some money. That's all for now, I guess. I've got today to do homework, maybe take some pictures (with my "big" camera), and eventually go to the Y... sounds like a decent day. May yours be as well.